Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
