I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
what day is it and did you see me today?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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