The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
