it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
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he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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