The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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