Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You're like the curious george of whores
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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