Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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