it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
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