Someone shit on the floor
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize