It's like a parade of train wrecks.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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