Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize