So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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