theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
