I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
