He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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