she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
