Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
