I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He? As in you personified your dick?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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