I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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