Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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