batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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