Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
