Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
