I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
