Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
