Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
