He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
