do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
