I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
my poor anus
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
