Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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