She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
