Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
