i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
