i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
