Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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