My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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