I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
