My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
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