are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were destined to go to rehab together
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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