I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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