her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
