speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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