He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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