i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
