have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
