I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize