Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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