I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he puts the penis in happiness.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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