well I can't set my house on fire every night
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
