the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
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He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
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He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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