Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
