Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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