I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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