i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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