Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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