I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize